Some days, it is too much

Love, that is.  In the last months, I've felt this overwhelming pride, happiness, and LOVE for Joseph... to the point of feeling a little guilty about the lack of these really strong feelings in the past.  I presume that it's just a natural progression in life... spend more time with someone you love, learn to love them more and more deeply?  He's just so darned amazing lately.  I have told people since he was a wee one that every day gets better for us (isn't it wonderful, to know that the trend is going up and up and up???) and it's still true.  Sure there are "days", but oh my, does life continue to improve by leaps and bounds.  It's breathtaking!

Anyway, while we're on vacation, Joseph's been needing help at bedtime.  He's in strange places, "big kid" beds, is overtired and overstimulated.  Last night as I lay down with him waiting for sleep to come, I had this overwhelming urge to cuddle him up like I did for so many months when he was a baby - to feel him fall asleep in my arms.  I didn't, though, because I didn't want to disrupt his sleep progress. 

Today on our way to Chicago, I told T.J. about it and my assumption that this is all pregnancy related - thank goodness I'll be getting a new baby to cuddle soon since my baby is growing up so quickly, I said. 

Then tonight, laying in bed in the hotel room with Joseph, he turned to me, reached out for me with both arms and said "Cuddle with mama."  I was so excited that I responded "Really?!?  OK!" - It might have been the most earnest and humble thing that has ever come out of my mouth when speaking to Joseph. T.J. looked over to see what was going on and just smiled and chuckled.

::tears::

I might still be getting a new baby, but my older one is not growing up too fast for me, yet.