The Birth of Nora Mae

After having some irregular contractions on Saturday, I woke up to contractions every 10 minutes at 2:30am on Sunday morning.  They were uncomfortable to lay down through, so I got out of bed around 3am and started timing them online.  I passed the time reading on the internet, listening to an NPR podcast, and watching "Sister Wives" on netflix (don't judge, I was distracting myself!  And the NPR balances it out, right?).  During contractions I would kneel and lay over my exercise ball, using my yoga breathing to manage the pain.

I watched as the contractions went from 9 minutes to 7 around 5am.  By then, I found using the mantra "open" to be helpful, envisioning my body opening up for the baby to come through.  I made "oh" sounds and "ah" sounds, depending on the strength of the contraction.  At this time I was just feeling tired and nervous.  I'd spent the last morning in much the same way, although these were a little more substantial.  I was scared that when daylight came the contractions would taper off again, and I'd be stuck pregnant yet another day, just getting exhausted every night by contractions that amounted to a hill of beans.

By 6:30am they were down to around 5-7 minutes apart.  They were lasting 40 seconds to about 80 seconds. I was so tired that I'd sort of fall asleep between contractions, and when another would come on I'd lean back over the ball and ride it out - then sit back and lean against the couch to doze for 5 more minutes.  Unbelievably, this did seem to get me a little bit of rest and energy back!

Joseph woke up around 8am, and I woke T..J. up to go take care of him.  I thought about making a "birth day cake" with Joseph, but I was still afraid that my contractions would go away, and then I'd be left with a birth day cake without a birth.  So I didn't mention it.  I moved to the rocking chair at this time to rest some more, and for the most part was able to labor through contractions in the chair. 

I called my doula, Laura, around 9:15am to see what she thought about these contractions, and she was equally cautious about calling it labor.  We'd seen this before with Joseph's birth, and heck, that was a 40 hour ordeal!  After talking with me through several contractions, we agreed that I'd try and rest and call her when I felt that I needed her.  I told T.J. that I was going to wait until 10am to call the midwife, Charlotte, and T.J. said he was going to take Joseph out to a golf store about 20 minutes away if I thought I was OK.  At first I thought that was fine, but about 10 minutes later I told him to stay closer to home.   I ended up calling Charlotte around 9:40am and talking with her for about 20 minutes through 4 or so contractions.  She said she'd grab a cup of coffee and call me back in an hour to see how I was.

After that I called the 2nd doula, Jill, whose job was to care for Joseph during the birth - whether that meant keeping him near or far from us.  She was on her way to church, but said she'd bring everything with her and I should call if I needed her.

Well, about 10:40 I was calling EVERYONE to come as soon as they could!  I'd had 4 hard contractions that convinced me that it didn't matter if I was "wrong" about being in labor - I needed some support.  When I hung up with the last person, I was going to start the water in the birth tub, but I felt another contraction come on and just had to cling to the exercise ball for dear life! 

T.J. and Joseph arrived at the same time as Jill about 10 minutes later, and I'd already had 2 "pushy" contractions.  Jill stayed with me so that I wasn't alone, while T.J. worked quickly to do everything I was telling him between contractions (get me a drink, get me a hair band, get me a towel, fill the birth tub...).  He didn't realize how imminent things were, and to some extent I didn't either.  I felt pushy with Joseph for about 6 hours before I was at 10cm with him, so I was afraid to push.  But my body just didn't give me a choice - it was expelling that baby!

Jill, being very SMART, grabbed some waterproof pads and towels from the birth kit in the bedroom and put them under me minutes before my water broke (I was still fully clothed).  While she was gone, Joseph came over and rubbed my arm, telling me it was OK.  He was such a darling, and a trooper!  After my water broke, it took her another couple of contractions to convince me to take off my pants so she could make sure the amniotic fluid was clear and that there wasn't a head already poking out!  Haha.  Not funny, though, as I could feel the baby in my pelvis at that point.  This was about 11:50.

At this point I was just surviving contractions - still using my sounds and trying to not push any more than my body was making me.  It was pretty hard to keep control of myself and my emotions.  There was some mild swearing, and once I simply said "I'm frightened".  Mostly I was frightened of having the baby before the midwife arrived! 

Soon T.J. said the tub was filled enough for me to get in, so I quickly moved there to help get some relief - Oh my, it worked!  The tub was horrible with Joseph, but it was such a relief this time.  Still, the baby was on its way out, and Laura and Charlotte were still en route!  I told T.J. to call Charlotte and see how far she was, but after that it was just a matter of survival.  T.J. had put a towel on the edge for me to lean over, and I took to biting that at the end of contractions to make it through the pain.  Joseph came in at one point at the height of a contraction and I heard him run toward me and then stop when I let out a particularly strange noise.  But he just ran back out again - no tears or anything.  He was amazing.  I think he mostly stuck with Daddy at this time.

The baby began to crown, and oh my it was painful!  I can safely say that pushing is the worst part of giving birth.  The "ring of fire", of course, but I felt like my clitoris was going to tear!  That was terrifying enough to get me to breathe and hold verrry still while the baby stretched things out a bit. 

Charlotte arrived at this time (12:05pm), and I told Jill to holler at her to hurry.  I heard Jill yell "Charlotte, I'm holding a head!" and Charlotte came bounding in ready to get down to business.  T.J. was behind her with her gear, getting things opened up and ready to use if needed. 

The head was out to about the brow now, but I was taking it slowly.  Charlotte was concerned since she hadn't had any time to listen for the heartbeat, and wanted me to push to make sure the cord wasn't wrapped and pulling tight around the neck, but it wasn't really physically possible at that point.  I was just following what my body was telling me.  Luckily another contraction came and the head was out, and I was yelling at Charlotte to get away from me as she was poking all around down there and it was so uncomfortable!  She was just checking for the cord, but I didn't care.  The next contraction came and I was able to push out the shoulders and the rest of the body!

Charlotte caught the baby and passed her through my legs under the water (the baby was fully submerged the whole time, which prevents them from breathing).  I reached down and picked up the baby, like it was the easiest, most natural thing in the world (it was)!  And then I sat down in the tub.  It was 12:16pm.

The baby was quiet, but seemed pretty rosy quickly.  It took her a few seconds to get her first breath, but it wasn't scary.  I just rubbed her.  Charlotte suctioned her briefly around the cheeks to help clear out what she coughed up, and that was that!  She scored an 8 and 10 on her APGARs. 

Right after the baby was born, my doula, Laura, arrived!  I sat and "relaxed" and I let the baby try and latch on and nurse while Charlotte did her thing and everyone exclaimed at the craziness of it all.  About 20 minutes later the assistant midwife got there, as well.  We stayed in the tub for about 30 minutes, while we waited for the placenta.  After it came out, T.J. cut the cord while Joseph watched, and then we got out of the tub and into bed.

Joseph did so well through the entire labor.  He was never frightened by my laboring.  When I'd have a contraction and close my eyes, he would say that I was sleeping.  Haha!  Not quite, darling!  The poor kid got a little forgotten about in the fray.  I remembered that he was probably hungry an hour after Nora was born, and he got to eat some eggs and banana bread for lunch in bed with us!  By 4pm he was asking to go to sleep, and resorted to bringing his pajamas out to the living room at 6:30pm.  Haha.  He didn't have ONE meltdown the entire day, though.  Completely in awe of him!

The whole experience was amazing, empowering, and just a tiny bit scary!  Thank goodness that Jill was able to get there so fast, or it would probably have been pretty terrifying!  And a little messy. Ha!

The amazing part of this birth is that I didn't realize just how negatively I had been viewing Joseph's birth.  I always had pretty bad feelings about it, but this birth instantly healed me of those negative thoughts.  I can see now that my body works just fine.  I was capable of having a "normal" birth, and I have never felt stronger or more capable.

I've felt great physically this time around, as well.  After a day of general soreness, I'd felt good enough to go out almost daily, do housework and prepare for our move, play with Joseph on the floor, wear Nora while getting things done, etc...

I also think that I really did suffer from PPD from the beginning with Joseph.  I feel SO different mentally this time around.  And I don't have this general "who is this alien" feeling about Nora like I did with Joseph.  She fit right into our family immediately and we all just hit the ground running.

Nora is a beautiful little thing.  She is so mellow and sweet, preferring to rest and nurse her days away!  It's early yet, but her disposition seems to by typical of 2nd borns - very go-with-the-flow. 

I do have some thoughts as to why I'm feeling better all around this time, but I think that's another post, as this one has gone on quite long enough!  Sorry there aren't any labor pictures this time... it wasn't on our minds (though one of my commands to T.J. during labor was to get the camera out for the birth!).  I did post several birth photos on smugmug and in this blog post

Introducing Nora Mae

Nora Mae was born on October 30, 2011 at 12:16 pm, 9lb 2oz, 20.75" long, peacefully into water and her mama's arms at home. 

Everyone is healthy and happy!  Amazing birth story to come in a few days!  Seriously, be super excited.

We named her Nora because we all liked it (Joseph had the tie-breaking vote) and Mae after my mama, the most loving and strongest woman I know.  It's her middle name, though I took spelling liberties being the PITA daughter that I am!

Here are some pictures to tide you over... they should be flooding into smugmug in the coming weeks, so check them out often!

Preparing a Toddler for a Home Birth

I don't think I've said too much about our plans for Joseph with regard to the birth.  We have a doula coming whose job is to care for Joseph.  We're thinking that he'll probably want to be with us most of the time, but if not her job is to babysit. 

Besides that, Joseph and I have a few books we've been reading:

Hello Baby - by Jenni Overend.  This is a book about a homebirth with a midwife.  The author writes from the experience of the big brother.  He has 2 older sisters, too.  It's a pretty nice book and Joseph likes to read it a lot.

I'm a Big Brother - By Joanna Cole.  Joseph *loves* this book.  He has it memorized and goes around randomly talking about how "Daddy says babies cry to tell us something.  Let's see what's the matter".  And other things directly from the book.  It's really cute.

A story of coloring book pages that our midwife gave us - I put it into one of those plastic covers you used for writing "research papers" in 4th grade.  We've been reading it like a book and coloring the pages the last few weeks.  He loves that one, too.  It talks about the tools the midwife brings, and he loves to see the picture at the end with the Mommy, Daddy, Big Brother, Little Sister, and the Midwife.  Maybe I should add a couple of people to that page for our 2 doulas!

Besides books, Joseph and I have been watching some birth videos on youtube.  He's pretty interested in them, and he knows generally how the baby will come out.  Which leads to my funny story of the day:

Joseph: Grunting
T.J.: "Are you pooping?"
Joseph: "I push the baby out"
T.J. and me: Die with laughter

Note: he did not, in fact, push a baby out.  It was a poop.

Do you think he's ready?

Birth Predictions Updated

I found this post that I did a year ago about birth predictions. Since I never came back to it until now, I thought I'd go ahead and complete it!

EDD: March 6, 2009
I predict the baby will be born: March 17, 2009
Actual birth date: March 9, 2009

I predict my labor will last: 22 hours
It actually lasted: 41 hours

U/S showed a (if you had one): Surprise!
I predict the baby will be a: Boy
The baby is a: BOY

I predict the babies weight and length will be: 7lb 6oz, 21 inches
Actual weight and length: 8lb 2oz, 22 inches

Any extra predictions you'd like to make: DomerBaby will probably be bald... and I think we'll have a hard (but not excruciatingly so) and successful home birth!
Joseph had a head full of hair! Labor was hard (excruciating is a good adjective, actually) but it was incredibly successful.

I can now appreciate just how lucky we were to have a home birth. I would most certainly ended up with a pitocin, an epidural, and a c-section at the hospital.

Birth Story - Part 3

See part 1 here

See part 2 here

I went back into the house and to my bathroom to be alone for a few minutes to cry on my own, where T.J. found me. I asked him to get Charlotte to check me again. I was still 7cm. At this point, Charlotte was done fooling around. She laid out my options:

I could have her break my water to see if it helped. My waters had been "bulging" since I was 3cm, and it could be preventing the baby's head from engaging and dilating me the rest of the way. The risk was that the baby was mispositioned, and this would essentially end our ability to get the baby correctly positioned on its own. We also talked about the risk of cord prolapse, which would result in an emergency transfer, and meconium in the water, which may or may not necessitate a transfer depending on how much it was.

Or, I could go to the hospital - where they would break my water, give me pitocin, and probably an epidural at this point. Let me tell you that I *so* wanted to say "hospital". I'd just had a terrifyingly hard contraction on the stairs, and now faced even worse if we wanted to get things going. Charlotte was willing to let me keep going as we were, but she was against it. It had been too long, I was too tired, and she was concerned about my uterus being able to contract down after the baby was born due to the prolonged labor.

After discussing with T.J. and Laura, we chose to break my water at 12:30. I had a couple contractions on the bed after that, then a few on the toilet, a few in the shower, and then I got to go to the TUB! I was so excited to try the tub, everyone said how wonderful and soothing the water was, and how much easier contractions were. Um, yeah. Not so much for me. I'm sure that it really does work well for some people, but after 3 contractions there I thought I was going to die. So I got out and ran for the bed again before the next contraction hit - everyone else scrambled to move all the birthing supplies into the bedroom, and the tub they worked so hard to fill sat, unused. Le sigh.

The only thing I remember about the next contraction was blinding pain - it was, as I said after it finished, a whole new world of hurt. I was in transition. And then Charlotte was checking me again and I was ready to push! I think it was around 2 or 2:30pm, but I don't know for sure. Pushing was hard work, the contractions changed some, but generally it was just so much better to push than to try NOT to push, which I'd been doing for about 6 hours. I do remember thinking though that every part of labor sucked - pushing was no real relief.

We used the toilet for a few pushes, but that tired out my legs, so they set up the birthing chair. I really liked that. It was comfortable on my legs and knees, and I could rest easily in between contractions. They moved me to the bed for a few side-lying pushes, but baby's heart rate dropped a little (from like 150 to 110 - still quite high) so it was back to the chair.

Baby was crowning around 4pm, and shot right out when I misinterpreted a look from Charlotte after the head came out. She had told me when I started that at some point she would tell me to keep pushing, and I should push really hard no matter what. Once the head was out, I saw a look on her face that I thought meant the baby was stuck so I asked (cried? shouted?) "Do I keep pushing" and she said yes, so I *really* pushed and baby came flying right out! Laura actually said she missed it because she blinked. It was 4:09pm - 41 hours into labor.

Charlotte gave the baby to me, and I looked and saw that it was a BOY! I was amazed at how big the baby was. I still am. Not that I knew how heavy or long he was, it just seemed, well, unnatural for something so big to come out of me! He was quiet at first, but not in a bad way, and then he started crying. There was light meconium in the amniotic fluid, so Charlotte did a lot of suctioning in his mouth to make sure he didn't aspirate anything. He was all full of mucus, and was having trouble with his breathing normally, so they had the oxygen out for him, and stuck a tube down his throat to try to get it out. He was very pink though, and was breathing, clear lungs, good heartbeat - just not the kind of chest compressions they like to see I guess. He scored an 8 and an 8 on his Apgars. They focused on him for quite a while, checking periodically to make sure I wasn't bleeding out and to see if I was feeling contractions for the placenta. I'm not sure how long that took to deliver - maybe 20 or 30 minutes? T.J. cut the cord sometime before the placenta was delivered and after the cord stopped pulsing so they could work on baby some more.


After that things calmed down a bit. Once baby got the all clear, they wrapped him up and gave him to T.J. so they could check me out.

I was given some herbs to help control the bleeding, though Charlotte said I was doing fine. I felt really good, not dizzy or anything, so that was a relief. Laura reported back to me that T.J. was showing baby around his new place, which made us smile.

I was pretty much stuck on the bed so that Charlotte could stitch me up. I won't go into details, except to say that I'm glad she had anesthesia, because it was a LOT of stitches. Then I went to have a shower and they finished cleaning up the bedroom and remaking the bed for us. Charlotte and Melanie did the newborn exam (weight, length, etc... there was a whole list) and then they helped me try to nurse, but he was having none of that. Poor kid, he was pretty angry about the suctioning. He did suck on my pinky for a bit though.



Everyone got ready to go and left between 8 and 9 pm, and we were on our own! We called our parents finally to let them know about the baby, ordered some pizza, and settled in.

T.J. was so amazing through my labor. I can't believe I ever doubted his interest/ability to help me through labor. I've never been more proud that he is my husband than I was last weekend. The labor might have been worth it just to experience how he took care of me.

My birth team was incredible. I think we could even have used another person! It was amazing how much work went into it. I'm so thankful for all three of them for taking good care of us.

Birth Story - Part 2

See part 1 here

At that point they knew nothing was going to happen soon, so they brought my rocking chair into the bedroom for me to sit in and try to sleep, and everyone hunkered down for the night. I slept for an hour or two, just breathing through contractions before they picked back up again and I wasn't able to sit in my chair through them. I labored on my own for a few hours so that everyone else could sleep, finally getting in the shower around 3:30am. Then I woke T.J. for some more help. He went and got Charlotte and Laura, and I was "around 6cm". I think at that point Charlotte was adding on to what she told me to keep me from being discouraged. It didn't work. Labor was so painful, and I was so tired and sad, I truly didn't know how I could continue with things moving so slowly.

There was a lot of discussion as to whether the baby was properly aligned in the pelvis and what we could do to fix that. Charlotte and Laura had me lie on my right side to try and realign the baby in the pelvis. Charlotte also called her assistant, Melanie, at that point.

The side-lying position was really painful and difficult to breathe through. I'd also been feeling the urge to push, so Laura had me add in the "Eee" sound to help me cope with that. I was excited to see what happened after a couple hours of that, as I'd read about people flying through transition and just pushing the baby out. Not me - though I was 7cm! It took two hours, but heck, I was making progress! The sun was coming up, too, making it seem like things were possible again. It was about 7am - 32 hours into labor.

Now we all thought things were really going. There was a flurry of activity - T.J., Charlotte and Melanie were working furiously to fill the birth pool. Apparently it's 150 gallons (I think we filled it 120 worth), and our water tank is 30 gallons. Huh. So they would drain the tank, then have to wait an hour or so for it to heat up again. They started boiling water to add to the pool, which really amused me as "boiling water" is such an old fashioned birth thing. While they were boiling water, Laura and I were working on labor, doing pelvic tilts (good grief that HURT) to try and keep things going. And they were for a while, but then things slowed down again. And by slow, I don't mean they stopped or became weak - they were just more like 5-7min apart instead of 3-4. I still got pushy sometimes, but was mostly able to control them.


I suppose it was around 10:30 or 11am that Laura suggested another walk. I dreaded them, as they always made the contractions come stronger and longer, but I trusted Laura would do what's best for me - so we went. She was extra hard on me this time, insisting that I do squats and lunges instead of just allowing the contractions to work over me while I tried to relax. I was so exhausted by that point that point that I was quite whiny and I'm sure Laura was reconsidering this home birth as much as I was. I whined about having to do squats - I was 50lbs overweight darn it, and my knees hurt! I whined about having to do lunges, I whined when she wanted me to use the stairs to labor on the way to the apartment (lunging during contractions). Then I had 3 HUGE contractions and I wasn't whining anymore, I was crying, for the 3rd time during my labor. I really cannot express the despair and hopelessness I felt on the stairs. In fact, every time we have come home from an outing this week I nearly cry while going up them. I literally cry now just thinking about them. It was about 12pm - 37 hours into labor.

Birth Story - Part 1

Labor began Friday evening, with painful contractions around 11pm. I'd had some irregular contractions since 5pm, and started timing them at 9pm, but they were weak. I slept through them until around 1am, when it became more and more uncomfortable to just lie down through them. So I began timing them around 1am. At 3:45 I woke T.J. because I wanted some help with them, and to see if I could "talk through them" - one of the signs of active labor is that you can't. I could talk through them, but they were quite painful and coming every 3-5 minutes for 45-60 seconds. I called Charlotte around 5am because she'd asked me to let her know when they were about 7 minutes apart, and obviously I was well past that. We were confused that I was still doing OK with the pain management, so she agreed to come and see what was going on.

She arrived around 6:30am and checked me - I was 1.5cm dilated, but the cervix was really posterior. She advised that I lie down with my leg pulled up high to get the cervix to pull forward. This was very painful, but I labored like that for about three hours, after which Charlotte checked me again - only 3cm dilated. I felt really deflated. I'd coped with the pain by using the yoga sounds I'd learned during my prenatal yoga class, and T.J. helped by applying pressure to my back and just being there for me. I was 12 hours into labor.

We decided to call Laura (our doula) around noon, and asked her to come in a couple of hours. T.J. and I went for a walk around the lake in order to help contractions along, and Charlotte left for a while as nothing was happening. The contractions had slowed a bit now, and I took a small nap between when Charlotte left and Laura arrived, being able to just breathe deeply through the contractions.


Laura, T.J. and I chatted for a while and went for another walk to get things going again. I had some really powerful contractions while we did that, and felt renewed and excited that something was happening. We took another short nap (waking to sound through the contractions of course), and then went for another walk around the lake. Charlotte came back and everyone ate lasagna, while I drank Gatorade and ate trail mix and fruit. Around 9:30pm Charlotte checked me again, and I was still at 3 or 4 cm - 22 hours into labor.

Updates!

So sorry this took so long. It's been truly crazy here at home and baby has been giving us some scares - just new parent stuff to keep us on our toes. Charlotte came today and assessed both of us and all is well.

Anyway, we decided to name DomerBaby Joseph Henry. He is strong and healthy, nursing well, and made it through his first car ride and heel poke at the pediatrician today with flying colors. I say he is strong like his mama. Everyone laughs at that, but whatever. They didn't have my labor.

Here are some photos:

Sometime on 3/8/09... I think this was about 18 hours into labor:

T.J. and Joseph after delivery. Poor T.J. looks exhausted!

First morning as a family alone. Look, they have the same adorable hairline!
Weighing in! Charlotte (holding Joseph) said he probably was more like 8lb8oz, but two hours and approximately 15 poop filled towels and blankets later he was official at 8lb2oz.
Sleepy Baby - after being awake the entire night he slept all day yesterday!
T.J. and I watching the newborn exam:

This is his "Angry" face:
Calming down a bit and hanging onto Daddy:
Look at that hair! I was so hoping baby would have hair
Mama is calming down, too:

Measuring up!

DomerBaby is here!

Arrived 4:09 on 3/9/09. Weighs 8lb 2oz and is 22" long(!). Name to be determined soon!

It's not labor, but...

Something is happening! I started to have bloody show at 9am! Don't worry, the link is just a description, nothing yucky to look at.

Now, don't go freaking out and getting overly excited. It doesn't mean much, except that baby probably won't be taking another 2 weeks to come out (could be a week still though)! I sent T.J. off to golf just now an hour away, just to show you how NOT imminent this is.

My plan is just to putter around the house today, maybe do some sewing (I got the cutest St. Paddy's day knee-high socks to turn into baby legs!) and relax as much as possible.

We'll keep everyone updated if anything changes. Don't wait by the phone!